okay - here's what went down around these parts over the last couple weeks that culminated in us staring at our son's awesome little face over the weekend! sorry - it may run a little long - but we don't wanna forget it - cuz God is nutty!
About 3 weeks ago an opportunity started to kinda take shape for our family. On paper - this opportunity was AWESOME. Heck - in words and on paper and everything in between it seemed AWESOME.
And last Tuesday it all came to a head with a phone call - we were looking at a job offer for a Director Level position at Wheaton College. Do I need to mention that is a super reputable spot? Cold? Yes, but super reputable nonetheless. So here we sat on a Tuesday - some of the most indecisive people you'll ever meet - with Wheaton needing an answer by Friday.
We did the only thing we know to do in these kind of moments. We prayed our faces off. We reached out to our real-deal prayer warriors and got them praying for us. Laura had just started an awesome book about prayer called "The Circle Maker" and it seemed we had found our current Jericho. Her friend Tamara, who was doing the study with her, told her she "needed to pray like her life depended on it." So we gathered up the wagons and started circling our Jericho. I ain't gonna lie - it got ugly at times.
There were tears. There was begging God for discernment and clarity. There was fear. Lots and lots of fear. We were waffling back and forth like a couple of politicians with our feet held to the fire. One minute we were all in - next minute there was no way we could pick up and move 750 miles away from our friends and everything else that was comfortable to us. How would we afford two mortgage payments if our house didn't sell? We told God we were gonna make sure He knew it was up to Him - but He was still being silent. And Friday was fast approaching.
We were getting sick over this decision. Literally. One doctor's appointment later for dizzy spells and shortness of breath determined our anxiety was high. We needed to land somewhere and we needed to feel right about it. As we waffled around like some flip-floppity pancakes - one thing kept coming back to mind. While visiting Wheaton we were asked, "What would stop you from coming here?" and with zero hesitation the answer was a resounding:
"If it would disrupt our adoption in any way that would stop us..."Laura had already reached out to our agency to see what this would mean. What impact would a cross-country move have on us? We knew we'd have to shell out some cash for homestudy updates and stuff - but what else was at play? Truthfully - our paperwork had JUST made it to Ethiopia like 3 weeks ago so the way we saw it we had TONS of time to figure it all out. Our agency said they would let us know by Friday what the impact would be.
Thursday night I went for a 7.5 mile run in the HARD down-pouring rain. No headphones. Just me, my mind, God and the rain. I needed it. I needed Him to wash over me. I came home feeling super confident in Him.
Friday morning came. Decision day. We were feeling good. We still had to see how this would impact the adoption but we felt good. Laura headed to the YMCA and hopped on the same elliptical she had used the day before - but for some strange reason the TV wasn't working. She told me she felt God saying He wanted to spend time with her so she exercised to Pandora's Passion City Worship station and prayed her mind out. She scooped up the girls early and headed out to take the call from our agency while she was driving. Our agency was late calling and she ended up in a Target parking lot to take the call. God has something with parking lots and us... but He had started to make some noise and break His silence.
Skip over to me now - at work and my cell phone rings. It's Laura and she says
"Hey - they wanna do a conference call with you and me and the Director of the program."I'm thinking - geesh, the director? This must be a bigger deal than I thought. And I was also thinking "can't they just tell you? why do they need me to be on the conference call too?"
Five minutes later my phone rings and I am on the call with Laura and the director and we hear:
"I have a little wrench to throw in to your decision... last night a referral came in for you guys."I am certain she said a whole lot of other things but I could barely hear her for the walls that were coming crashing down around me. Here it was - Friday - the decision day - we had decided in faith to move forward with this massively scarey thing but had to see if it would impede our adoption and God shows up at the last second. RIGHT. ON. TIME.
And the beauty of it all - to make sure He left us no room to wiggle - God used something He has used to communicate to us as a family for some time now and the very same thing He used to save us all when He sent us His son - ADOPTION. He left us with no room to doubt.
The decision was made. And 10 minutes later we were staring into the beautiful eyes of our son. The weight of stress washed away almost immediately. We knew what we had to do - like we told the agency Director - we don't say "no" to referrals. It's just not how we roll. The risks were too high that something could delay or even disrupt the adoption if we were to move now. So God was keeping us still. And we were okay with it.
So there ya have it. And though we feel 100% at peace with our decisions - and we are OVER THE MOON excited to be growing as a family way faster than we thought we would - I can't help but wonder and be intrigued by faith. What does it look like? Does it look like walking away from something that the world would tell you is an incredibly good thing? Or does it look like jumping in blindly and going from there? I think it can look both ways. The determining factor - here at least - was insane amounts of prayer and a God who showed up in His perfect timing.
Now - let's go get little brother home!