Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Daddy's Life

Some Backstory

on a cold winter morn, in the midst of a storm,
    in the year of our Lord '73,
A middle child was born, nothing great - just the norm -
    and that is how I came to be;

Childhood was like yours, some excitement, some bores -
    mostly growing and learning to live,
But circumstances were such that I didn't think much,
    of myself or what I had to give;

It's a sad scary truth, that we start to get used
    to the way that some parents may treat us,
But no kid would just choose - to receive that abuse -
    daily beatings just work to defeat us;

I could sit here and dwell on the way they would yell,
    on the fights and the hits and the shouts,
But that's just a small part that was there at the start,
    it's not what my whole story's about;

18 years after my birth, still struggling with worth -
    on a stage I received a diploma,
While unknown to me - from a car wreck you see -
    my best friend - he lay dying in a coma;

He would pass the next day - his girlfriend the same way -
    and this moment it then set the stage,
For my next ten long years, full of anger and fears -
    with no faith I just lived life in rage;

There was alcohol, drugs - there were friends who were thugs -
    you know - all the usual suspects,
For a guy who was trying to just stop slowly dying -
    I was living life fully but unchecked;

When I turned 27, our God up in heaven -
    a God then that I did not even know,
Cared enough for my life that He sent me a wife,
    and disrupted my self-destructive show;

A couple years later, I was a still a life hater -
    with a darkened and quite hardened heart,
But the Spirit had ventured to enter my center -
    and my heart was about to re-start;

As I got to know Jesus and His love that redeems us -
    my spirit was slowly re-growing,
What I once found untouchable - being loved and being lovable -
    I now found myself to be knowing;

The fun had begun, but God wasn't done -
    He had work in His mind yet to shape me,
The next hurdle for me was called fertility
    and it did all it could just to break me;

For several years - through pain and through tears -
    we tried all we could to defeat it,
In the midst of the fight, God gave us foresight,
    and a really cool way we could beat it;

He removed from our hearts the desire to start
    a family of which we were "creator"
And instead He placed there a deep burden to share
    with the least and to see Him as greater;

So we did it - full bore - leaning into Him more -
    we put names to those for whom we were fightin',
With adoption as an option - we kept going - no stoppin' -
    and we named our first baby son Brighton;

But there was much more that God had in store
    for our growth and our life's direction,
We had asked Him to break us and then to remake us
    so we could be His heart's projection;

Growth in God is so gainful but it's also so painful
    as He strips away worldly pride,
And at 76 days - quite a tender young age -
    our baby son Brighton just died.

This shook me to the core - couldn't shake me much more -
    and I asked for God never to heal it,
This pain we were dealt is the same sadness He felt
    and forever I needed to feel it;

With our passion just growing and God's love ever flowing -
    we decided to follow our Father,
And in a huge display of - His faith and His love -
    He blessed both our lives with a daughter;

She didn't replace or take up the space
    in our heart that was set there for Brighton,
Instead she compelled us and even propelled us
    to stand up and just keep on fightin';

And though it seems odd, we just let God be God -
    we stayed still and let Him be the prophet,
We prayed & we prayed until He conveyed
    "You should start your own grassroots nonprofit."

We were wary - cuz thats scary - and bigger than us
    but we did it cuz He said it and meant it;
Now we feed those in need in a place that we love
    and our passion is firmly cemented;

A couple years in, we heard Him again
    and He told us to "Go get your daughter."
27 months later our family grew greater
    as we brought home a 3 year old toddler;

The love of our Father that I've learned from my daughters
    is something that can't be undone;
But I'm forever grateful that God is so faithful -
    because this year we brought home our son;

Now our house is quite full but I'd be a fool
    to declare that His plan is complete,
When it comes to God's will - I just pray and stand still -
    I've found it best not to compete!


susan said...

beautiful. what a story of redemption,

Tymm said...

thank you Susan!

Anonymous said...

Wow what an amazing story and gift of writing you have!

Anonymous said...

I have followed your blog for quite awhile and LOVE all your posts. Your children will be so blessed one day to read all these posts that convey the absolute love you and your wife have for them. And your life story really is an amazing story of redemption (as stated above)! As my family prepares to bring home sibling girls from Haiti (ages 10 and 7) in the next couple of months, I pray that we are able to pour the kind of love and care into them that Jesus has poured into us. A long time ago you posted about how you prayed that the Holy Spirit would begin preparing the hearts of your children to be in your family and feel as though they belonged right away. We have been praying that as well for our girls. Thank you for the inspiration! Blessings on your family!

Tymm said...

Holly - I believe in that prayer SO MUCH. i have seen Him be so faithful to it - praying it for your 2 girls as well - God bless you guys!