Wednesday, March 18, 2015

When Good News Is Super Hard...

We got good news the other day. 2 days ago to be exact. Really good news. Great news. It made us sad and a little confused... but super good news, nonetheless.

Those little hands up there. The ones we had prayed about and said "Okay God... we'll do this..." - well... two days ago the birth mother of those little hands came back in to her life. She took her home and has decided to give it a go.

And we couldn't be happier!

But that doesn't mean it didn't cause a little sadness too.

Laura and I talked and while we were both sad - sad because the buzz and excitement of a new Hoffman had already permeated the whole family - we were OVERWHELMED WITH JOY because THIS IS GOD'S PLAN. In a non-fallen world there would be no need for adoption.

I told Laura - who knows... maybe God wanted us to step out in faith (which trust me - this was a fiscal act of faith beyond any other for us). And maybe that step out in faith - and coming to all you prayer warriors for prayer and accountability - is exactly what was needed - an uprising of prayer that turned a birth mother back to her daughter. Her sick daughter - who needed her.

We were sad... but we are TRUSTING HIM.

And then... there's the goofball gang. Hard news to tell any kids who would be excited.

But now - consider telling two gorgeous daughters of our King who were adopted that a birth mother came back and that this is the right thing for her. I needed God to give me the words because I am incapable of crafting them when it comes to my kids - gorgeous, beautiful pieces of our family that sprung up from hard places - like redeemed roses from concrete.

How do I tell these redeemed roses that a birth mother coming back is the right thing - the best thing even - when theirs did not?

See - I needed God to do this.

And after hearing Meron tell me that her "good thing" at school was her telling the class about her sister in Ghana and getting to go with us when we traveled there - and then being bumrushed by Mebbie tonight as she explained her new venture... "Art by Mebbie" that she was launching to raise what she called "family money to bring home our girl..."

I knew tonight was the night we had to tell them this.

I prayed my whole run. It rained on me - kinda hard - which is funny cuz God knows I like to run in the rain. And it helped make the tears be indistinguishable from the rain and sweat. Cuz I prayed and cried cuz I didn't know how to have this talk.

But He did. And we talked at dinner.

There were tears. Some anger. Some confusion. Lots of hugs.

And some really deep, solid conversations with our amazing 7, 6 and 3 year olds... who are stronger than most ANYBODY i know.

Laura had some good words - and she said she feels like we are really learning what Jesus is like. And truthfully - all the pain, confusion, sorrow and joy is worth it. It's so so worth it - to know Him better.

So thank you Internet - for praying with us and for us and for this precious little girl who tonight is sleeping in a home where she belongs.

Tonight - we learned that some good news can hurt really, really bad... but ice cream always helps.

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