Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Undeserving


I'm in awe of God.

Just flat out in awe of Him.

And the techie, info-geek in me wants to fully understand Him... yet the piece of me that has clung to faith for the last 7 years or so reminds that techie self that I'll never fully get Him this side of Heaven.

But I'll get to have all of Him there. And it's that hope that keeps us keeping on.

Tonight - as we sat around the living room in various states of "chill-axing" before bedtime - it hit me just how different things could have been today.

Things were remarkably normal tonight - but man... how they could have been different if not for this.

And then... then it was time for family prayer - and I sat there and listened to each of these little guys - on their own - thanking God for mommy's healing. Still.

2 weeks later.

Their behavior is back to normal. Their little hearts aren't scared anymore. And they're still thanking Him.

And so am I.

I dunno what God is up to with all this - and He doesn't have to ever even reveal that to us.

But I know this much... I do not deserve the blessings I sat and enjoyed time with tonight.

I am undeserving.

But I am SO SO THANKFUL.

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