First off - why write this? Well - a few reasons...
1 - I love to record big parts of our lives so we can preserve 'em and look back on 'em and see how God was working. This is one of those times.
2 - I process things through writing.
3 - i bet somebody else out there somewhere has walked a similar road and here's to hoping this helps ya know you're not alone and to stay strong cuz when God calls ya to things - ya know it and you should listen! Trust the Spirit!
I love it so much when God takes what satan means for bad and uses it for good. Let me just START with that...
okay - back to jerky jerk face up there.
Kinda harsh, right? Well - truth is - over the last 6+ months - that's what i was starting to see every time I looked in the mirror.
See - the last half year or so has been an interesting journey for us as a family and for me specifically. It's been a weird time of seeing people in different lights, feeling foolish as I realized I was wrong on some thoughts or assumptions about relationships... and generally just a tough time of self searching and reflection.
In the end it was ALL GOOD - but during it? No fun.
During this time - a lot of folks have felt compelled to share things with me.
Things like I am anti-church.
That I am not biblical in my approaches.
That I wasn't hearing God.
That I am a stumbling block.
That I was damaging friendships.
That I didn't understand reconciliation.
That I did not belong in leadership.
That I have removed the Holy Spirit from my day to day business.
That what we do with Brighton Their World is "easy."
That my prayers took too long.
That maybe I should stop sharing and living life out loud.
And much more
And this was from people I thought I called "friends."
I didn't brush this stuff off. Because again - these were people i thought I trusted. So I did some deep soul searching. Like deep, deep soul searching.
I hit the floor in prayer. And it was desperate prayer at times.
"God - search my heart!" I screamed.
"Test me - point out my anxiousness and give me insight into my offensiveness!"
I checked some of my actions and re-checked them. I ALWAYS check my words and pray over them before using them - but I started even hesitating to write them - let alone use them.
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks...
satan had quietly and effectively begun changing who I was.
But then... in stepped Jesus.
He reminded me of who I was and I love how He gave me reassurance.
The confirmations weren't even something that stood out at first. They seemed like business as usual for me.
A prayer request here. A question or request for input there. A desire to hear a "Christian perspective..." on something. A request for an interview about Brighton Their World. More prayer requests - coming at me from every angle in every medium. From people I love but barely ever engage with.
And then one day - in the midst of receiving like the billionth prayer request (joyfully mind you - cuz praying for folks is like my absolute favorite thing to do) - it slowly dawned on me.
And I swear to you it was like the sky smiled at me, the sun winked and the mountains knuckle bumped me and yelled "Boo ya!"
And somewhere in His kingdom - God said out loud with a sigh of relief, "It's about time, Tymm... geesh!"
I'm slow. I'll admit it.
I'm quicker to believe the lies of satan than I am to hear the bold and steadfast truth of the Holy Spirit that resides in my heart.Especially when the sneaky devil uses people you would have placed squarely in the middle of your trust zone.
And I almost stumbled. I really almost gave in.
But I am so thankful that our God is not only relentless in His pursuit of us but also His retention of us. And I gotta say - I LOVE the way He goes about it.
Oh they say you're anti-church? God sends the body almost immediately to seek your input and opinion on the way the church is handling certain things.
Oh - wait - you're a stumbling block? God sends private messages from His people to share ways in which they have been pointed to Him through interactions with me. Randomly - from people I cherish but don't communicate with often.
Ahhh - but you removed the Holy Spirit from your day to day and that work you do with Brighton Their World is so easy. God comes along and has us in AWE as the Spirit rushes throughout the school and the students and staff are thriving.
And so on and so on. It was like God took every single thing said about me and came at me full force to negate it. And while satan used His people to derail me and almost push me off the tracks completely - God came along and used His people to set me straight and squarely back on HIS tracks.
The TONS of scripture that kept popping up randomly (but not randomly... ya know?) was astounding. The number of prayer requests went through the roof. And I am thankful for every single one of them.
Because - as I look back on this - the thought hit me...
How many people has satan successfully pulled away like this?
Convinced them that they didn't know a Savior, had no Holy Spirit in them and had no authority to speak of Him as a disciple of Him.
My guess is... a lot. And I could have been one.
But not today.
Nope - today the confirmations He has given me over the last 6+ months are numbering into the hundreds and I am standing with Him - ready to boast IN HIM.
And my crew here with me?
We see you satan... and that's half the battle.
Now GET BEHIND US!
And to anybody else out there being challenged in who He made you to be... remember what Jesus told us:
"I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever — the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you."If you have chased Him, sought Him, asked Him for the wisdom and discernment - and the Holy Spirit has confirmed He is there - do not let anybody - and I mean ANYBODY - try to convince you that you are anything else than what He made you to be.