Tuesday, June 26, 2007

No More Faith

Sounds like a scarey subject, doesn't it? Man, I'll tell ya what - if my newly found faith has ever been tested it is right now - adoption is an amazing thing - but an incredibly hard thing. It's trying. It wears you out. It tries every last ounce of your patience. It almost laughs at you with it's ever-increasing wait and just taunts you to the point of frustration - a point I might add that Satan wants you at.

It even dares you to question God and His perfect timing and His perfect will and plans for you. Overall - it's just exhausting.

Let me back up for a second - don't get me wrong - adoption is dope. It is the bomb. It is everything we want to be doing and know we are supposed to be doing - God has definitely made that clear to us. Back in October 2006 when we dove in head first there was sooooo much to do. So much paperwork. So much running around and cutting red tape here and there and hunting and gathering - you know - the stuff us humans were made to do - hunt and gather. And it all went off without a hitch (Thank You God!!)

But now Laura and I find ourselves heading in to month #4 of our wait - and wow is it tough. The hunting and gathering is all done with and we are now trying to cope with something we humans just werent built for (or so it seems) - waiting patiently. And man - we suck at it. I mean - this wait seems sooooo long. We have this passion inside of us and it's like we have to sit on it for the next 2 years. Can you imagine waking up on Christmas Day as a kid and sprinting downstairs full of excitement to ... an empty tree? With a note that said "You can open your presents on Labor Day!" That's kinda how it feels. Or like you are running a race - but you don't know the distance of the race. So how do you pace yourself? You see people finish and you know they ran the same race but they ran different lengths - how do we even set a pace to get through this?

So anyways - those are some things that have been running through our minds lately. And today, while i was running in the woods and talking to God - okay, I was kinda yelling at God, saying "What is up???" - but anyways, a song from one of our favorite artists came on - "No More Faith" by Andrew Peterson. What a song. What a guy. He gave me something I needed to hear right then. Thank you God for controlling my iPod at that moment.

So here are the lyrics and the song is here also (just push play on that embedded Windows Media Player). I hope you can get a little something out of it - I know Laura and I did tonight.








No More Faith - Andrew Peterson
This is not another song about the mountains
Except about how hard they are to move
Have you ever stood before them
Like a mustard seed who's waiting for some proof?

I say faith is a burden
It's a weight to bear
It's brave and bittersweet
And hope is hard to hold to
Lord, I believe
Only help my unbelief

Till there's no more faith
No more hope
I'll see your face and Lord, I'll know
That only love remains
Have you heard it said that Jesus is the answer
And thought about the many doubts you hide
Have you wondered how he loves you
If He really knows how dark you are inside

I say faith is a burden
It's a weight to bear
It's brave and bittersweet
And hope is hard to hold to
Lord, I believe
Only help my unbelief

Till there's no more faith
No more hope
I'll see your face and Lord, I'll know
When there's no more faith
And no more hope
I'll sing your praise and let them go
'cause only love
Only love remains

So I will drive these roads in thunder and in rain
And I will sing your song at the top of my lungs
And I will praise you, Lord, in glory and in pain
And I will follow you till this race is won
And I will drive these roads till this motor won't run
And I will sing your song from sea to shining sea
And I will praise you Lord, till your kingdom comes
And I will follow where you lead

Till there's no more faith
No more hope
I'll see your face and Lord, I'll know
When there's no more faith
And no more hope
I'll sing your praise and let them go
'cause only love
Only love remains

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